In Scientific American Mind this month there is a fascinating article which all homeschoolers would do well to read.
In essence the research indicated that those children with a "growth" mindset were much less likely to give up when the going got tough. How do we give our kids the "growth" mindset? By praising their efforts and hard work (which can be improved), not their "talent" or "gifts" (which they see as a "given"). This way you allow the child to see that they can get better at anything they want by hard work.
These paragraphs I thought were particlularly interesting:
"How do we transmit a growth mind-set to our children? One way is by telling stories about achievements that result from hard work. For instance, talking about math geniuses who were more or less born that way puts students in a fixed mind-set, but descriptions of great mathematicians who fell in love with math and developed amazing skills engenders a growth mind-set, our studies have shown. People also communicate mind-sets through praise. Although many, if not most, parents believe that they should build up a child by telling him or her how brilliant and talented he or she is, our research suggests that this is misguided.
In studies involving several hundred fifth graders published in 1998, for example, Columbia psychologist Claudia M. Mueller and I gave children questions from a nonverbal IQ test. After the first 10 problems, on which most children did fairly well, we praised them. We praised some of them for their intelligence: “Wow … that’s a really good score. You must be smart at this.” We commended others for their effort: “Wow … that’s a really good score. You must have worked really hard.”
We found that intelligence praise encouraged a fixed mind-set more often than did pats on the back for effort. Those congratulated for their intelligence, for example, shied away from a challenging assignment—they wanted an easy one instead—far more often than the kids applauded for their effort. (Most of those lauded for their hard work wanted the difficult problem set from which they would learn.) When we gave everyone hard problems anyway, those praised for being smart became discouraged, doubting their ability. And their scores, even on an easier problem set we gave them afterward, declined as compared with their previous results on equivalent problems. In contrast, students praised for their effort did not lose confidence when faced with the harder questions, and their performance improved markedly on the easier problems that followed.
Making Up Your Mind-set
In addition to encouraging a growth mind-set through praise for effort, parents and teachers can help children by providing explicit instruction regarding the mind as a learning machine."
The right way to praise is also discussed in the books by Mazlish and Faber (see books we don't lend out in right hand column of this blog).
Many moons ago a friend of mine gave me a book by Alfie Kohn (also see books we don't lend out for Punished by Rewards and No Contest). He has done an incredible amount of research on what happens when you praise and reward children. He believes the traditional school systems are turning out parrots who are only trained to think superficially. Basically he showed, (with what seemed to me like 346 different reasons) why you shouldn't praise your kids the way we normally do. This article, entitled "Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job"" pulls out the key points he makes. I read his books before my kids were school age, it was another reason I chose to homeschool. It is also the reason I was so attracted to the Montessori Method, as her teaching method is based on a similiar perspective.
"Scores of studies have found that the more we reward people for doing something, the more they come to lose interest in whatever they had to do to get the reward." Alfie Kohn.
Well, you ask, what AM I supposed to say? All the books and articles I have read say the same thing. Make observational comments. Here are some examples, for more examples, go read the links or the books!
For your precious budding Monet: "I see you made the moon green!"; "It looks like you put alot of effort into drawing that alien."; "What is your favorite part of this picture of me?". "The more sketching you do the better you'll get at it."
For your budding Olympic athlete or Rhodes scholar: "It looks like your hard work paid off on the test!"; "I notice how much you are practicing throwing that football, I guess you really want to get better at it!"....
For your potential Social Organizer: "I see you worked really hard to figure out how to get along with your friend."; "You are really trying to make your friend feel welcome here, I bet she appreciates it!"...
Kids can get manipulative (understatement alert!) - particularly if they are used to praise. If they use the old "Don't you like it?", I recall one of the above books recommending you say: "I think everything you do is special to me." and then try one of the above phrases to focus on any effort involved in the achievement.
Want another reason to choose a curriculum heavy on reading? Read this article by Alfie Kohn.
Remember, anyone can change the way they praise - you just have to work hard at it...
Aussie Kim
"Those congratulated for their intelligence, for example, shied away from a challenging assignment—they wanted an easy one instead—far more often than the kids applauded for their effort."
Yep! We had first hand experience with that when we took our son out of school. He is a bright boy and they really poured on the "you are so smart" praise. I never realized how that effected his work until we started homeschooling. Getting him to do ANYTHING even the tiniest bit challenging was...well, challenging. I finally figured out that he was afraid of trying because he might "mess up and look stupid".
It's been a long road but he's overcoming that bit by bit as we encourage him in "trying" and "doing" rather than just "knowing".
Posted by: greendarner | December 13, 2007 at 05:52 AM
Wow! Neat example! If you haven't read any of Alfie Kohn's books, I bet you'd love them! THE best parenting book I have read though, has to be the "HOW to get your kids to eat" book. It works along similiar lines.
Posted by: Aussie Kim | December 14, 2007 at 10:38 AM